Main FAQ - Forum Rules - Glossary

1. What is Burning Up In Speed?
   Burning Up In Speed, or BUIS (pronounced boo-is, b-weese, or bee-you-eye-ess), is a community on the Internet devoted toward friendly discourse in a world filled with mass consumption of digital media.


2. What kind of person posts at BUIS?
   Crazy people who don’t get out much. We like to talk about sex and rock music and laugh at life. If you’re looking for meaningful conversation, you might want to get off the internet.


3. What kind of person need not post?
   Intolerant people, ones with weak stomachs, suicidal egomaniacs, and mindless fans of rock bands. We don’t care if you carve stuff into yourself, but do it elsewhere.


4. How did BUIS come to be, in a nutshell?
   Back in December 2001, a group of pilgrims left the Official Smashing Pumpkins Message Board for the promise land. The journey was long and perilous, and many posts were lost. They unavoidably missed the Promise Land and landed on hard, rocky soil of free webservers. It was a harsh winter as people resorted to cannibalism and were eaten by goblins. Luckily, our fearless leader, Sir Andrew of the Lonely Towers, brought us out of the wilderness and set before us a horn of plenty. Since then we’ve had our share of lunatics and exiles, but we still stand in a sea of Intarweb stupidity.


5. Do I have to like The Smashing Pumpkins to be here? They’re awfully lame and kinda broke up years ago.
   Well, you don’t *have* to. Many people here are Pumpkin nuts but we hardly mention them at all. You suck for not liking them, but we’re tolerant. Just remember, B0lly refers to Billy Corgan.


6. Do you guys censor shit? I have a strong psychological dependence on the word “fuck”.
   Hell no. We don’t censor any fucking bad language and shit. We do require you to mark objectionable shit and links as “Not Work Safe” for the poor twats who browse BUIS at work.


7. WTF IS UP W/ U? U R TYPING RITE. U R SO UNC00l.
   This is not the Linkin Park Message Board. Stop shitting on the English language and end yourself.


8. What is “Turkey Cash”?
   See, we here at BUIS used to have members by the name of Ryan and Zachary (Madonna of Humility) whose sole purpose in life was to mass produce doctored images featuring catchy but annoying captions. This usually goes way beyond the “funny” range into “jam fork in eye” range. One night, Ryan and Zach were having sex, and Zach used a basted turkey to pay for Ryan’s services. The rest, folks, is history.


9. What the hell does it mean to “Poast Fast”?
   Most, if not all, BUIS members don’t read whole threads before calmly hitting the reply button and typing a response. They immediately scroll down to the bottom of the page, post ignorant nonsense, attach someone else’s cleverly photoshopped image of a whore stapled to a cow, and hit ALT+S. This, my friends, is poasting fast.


10. What is the smiley supposed to be anyway?
    Well, the common usage is to denote awkwardly awaiting a response from others. However, our smiley model was, unknown to us at the time, full from a day of eating babies. We had to fire him even though we all know what everyone secretly craves.


11. Dude, your senses of humor are vulgar and tasteless. What’s wrong with you people?
    Let’s face it, this world is funny shit. Nazis, sex jokes, making fun of the handicapped, pretending to be homosexuals, uncouth language, and trivializing the human condition is pretty damn funny. However, when this ceases to be joking and turns to real personal attacks, Superman will roll to your rescue with a Hitler moustache and Jimmy Olsen onboard, polishing his joystick.


12. Is BUIS a dating service?
    Let me explain it to you this way. Conducting romance on BUIS is like you being a goldfish in one fish bowl and your love dumpling being in a separate fish bowl across the room (sometimes the bowl for the criminally insane, bloodsucking goldfish). Communication is accomplished by writing messages on the side of the bowl for your mate across the room with a fin.
    
    I *HEART* YOU, ANGEL
    LUV GUPPY
    
    Ideally, such a thing as a relationship should never be attempted unless you are in the same healthy fish bowl. If you do attempt an online affair, don’t get your hopes too high. Your heart might flounder a bit.


13. You have smilies named after people? How do I use them properly?
    Use… when…
    - when you feel flattered
    - when you feel like a nut
    - when you don’t know what to feel
    - when you’re mischievously acting behind the scenes
    - when you agree with a guy just to get a piece
    - when ya feel like a pirate. Yarrr
    - when you wanna flash yer boobies
    - when you’re sad and misunderstood
    - when you want to laugh at someone
    - when you’re tying one on
    - how YOU doin’. (contrary to popular belief, she is not a whore)
    - when you’re giddy from winning the special olympics
    - when you dissaprove of what these kiddies come up with
    - when y’all are fixin’ to whistle dixie, yeehaw
    - when the rage takes over
    - when you are typing upside down
    - all the time. he sucks.
    - when ya wanna be all ghetto. Detroit WHAT. ya best be steppin’.
    - when the gayness in a thread kicks up a notch.
    - when you gots ta impress the ladies.
    - if you down with the o-irish
    - when you're makin' babies.
    - when you're rocking that harp.
    - when you're feeling the nerd love
    - when you just can't hold in the laughter or the stuff in your mouth at the time.
    - CRIPPLE FIGHT
    - when you just feel the need to smack someone with a fish
    - when you gotta back dat ass up
    - when yer jolly good an' bri-ish
    - when mommies and daddies love each other...


14. Why is it BUIS 2?
    Actually, it’s BUIS 3, but who’s counting? It’s a long bitter tale, but here’s the short version.
    
    BUIS 1 was deleted by Lulacat, former leader and seducer of teenage boys. I forget the reason she went psycho, but she totally did. After repeated threats of an Intarweb Lawyer, Lulacat created a monument to her psychoses called “Looking into the Sun” or LITS. The BUIS/LITS Cold War began. A dark period McCarthy-ism followed. They took it seriously, but we thought it was damn hillarious.
    
    BUIS 2 was deleted by a evil demon named “default”. The populace blamed Ryan, cuz everyone hates Ryan anyway. However, cars can only turn into computers in the movies. Or can they?!
    
    Don’t delete us. Unless you damn well make it funny.


15. What does “What.” mean?
    Ask Bill Clinton. What.


16. Why such hostility toward Ryan Ford? Who is this guy?
    He is evil.
    He makes Darth Vader shit himself.
    He is a former admin at BUIS.
    He is also a Canadian.
    Fear him like a zombie Queen Mother.


17. Goatse? Tubgirl? Lemon Party? Donkey Punch? What are these?
    TRUST US, YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW. They are things that no human being should see or attempt. Oh, just PM pumpkinbomb300xl, he’ll tell you.